Wednesday, August 11, 2010

forever changed..............

The past couple of days, I've been "composing" the random thoughts that seem to be constantly taunting me inside of my head and have yet attempted to express them in writing....until now. It's been a very difficult few days and my emotions seems to be right on the brink of eruption - with the tears coming all too quickly. Since I am the only follower of this blog.........I decided to put these random thoughts down on paper with the hope that when I am in the right frame of mind, I'll edit them into something more concrete - something more palatable. But for now - I am throwing caution into the wind and consider yourself forewarned if you happen to stumble upon this page.

On June 10th 1991, my life was "forever changed". It was on that day that I was given one of the most precious gifts that anyone could ever be given. A baby girl. And not just any baby girl - but exactly what I had "ordered", what I had prayed for. All 8.8 lbs of her came into this world with all ten fingers and all ten toes. In addition, she also had the blue eyes and blonde hair that I had dreamt of. She was perfect - absolutely beyond perfect.

Fast forward -------------> December 20th 2008, and my life was once more forever changed. That beautiful, vivacious, wonderful young woman left this world ........... and just as I was 17 years earlier when she took her first breath, I was with her and holding her when she took her very last breath. It truly was an honor and a privilege to be that person..........


  1. hello sweet amy
    you have been in my thoughts each day since i received your note.
    thank you for sharing your emily with me.
    she is gorgeous
    you are gorgeous.

    i can not fathom the places your heart has traveled over the last couple years. i can't.
    my best girlfriend buried her baby boy after his fight with cancer ended. i think back on our carefree days when she & i were 17 ourselves. never imagining where the lord would allow our lives to go.

    anyway...i'm your first official follower.
    i pray there are days that maybe you'll swing back by here and share your thoughts.
    i pray this is a place where you feel His arms around you.

    ps--did i say your profile picture is GORGEOUS?
    ok...just checking :)

  2. I've just stumbled upon your blog and must say that your sweet words brought tears to my eyes and heart. As a mother I can feel your pain However, not knowing the details, I can not understand the depth of your pain and loss. I'm so very sorry you lost your beautiful daughter {clearly it comes from you!} but pray that He is wrapping you in his arms and holding you tight with His love.


  3. I came across your blog through your sweet comment on Paige's post at Simple Thoughts. I am so very sorry for your loss.

  4. Not sure how I ended up here, stumbled across this and yet somehow I don't think it was by coincidence. I see a couple of others have too and I truly believe we were led here for a reason?

    I don't know you, but my heart cries for your loss, as a mother it's one of my greatest fears.

    It's my hope that through your healing you will come back here and share your words.

    Kim XO